Two Faces of Narcissistic Abuse: Disrespect From Shared Fantasy to Bargaining (starts at 20:35)
Topic starts at 20:35. Their abuse leads to betrayal, breakup, mortification but narcissists are too dumb to get it. One of the most confusing aspects of narcissism: identical behaviors have entirely different psychodynamic etiologies. Consider, for example the connection between abuse parentifying the intimate partner. A conundrum: the narcissist tries to convert people in his life into parental figures but this only recreates, reenacts triggers unresolved childhood conflicts, retraumatizes him, opens old wounds. From women, the narcissist wants any 2 of these 3 Ss: supply (sadistic narcissistic), sex (adventures, a playmate), services (mother, PA, housekeeper). From men, he wants both supply (sadistic narcissistic) services (business). Outside these transactions, he expects to be left completely alone, to his own devices to do as he pleases (schizoid). Since no one will agree to these terms, he has to fake
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