Julien Baker Funeral Pyre ( Live)

I wake up with the same pain every night, Digging in ashes and out of sight. Clearing my chest for something to burn, Ash from a decorative urn you keep in your mantle piece Like a trophy for everything. We learn eventually. Call me a coward but I m too scared to leave cause I want you to be the last thing I see Call me a coward but I m too scared to leave Watched you pouring lighter fluid out onto the leaves And I would have loved you with the dying fire If I let you smother me now, to the embers Frost bite turning my limbs as black as cinders, a funeral pyre But I would have stayed, if you had asked me to Stood outside until my lips turned blue I wouldn t have blamed you For leaving me there on the porch While you drink gasoline Because its what you needed so bad But its true. There s nothing that we could do.