The Predictable Stages of Growth in Couples

in honor of Valentines Day, Jeff talks with Dr. Tom Habib about the affairs of the heart. An integrallyinspired clinical psychologist specializing in couples therapy, Tom has mapped what he calls the couples line of development, which describes the predictable stages of growth that a couple can grow through and where they may get stalled. The adventure of love generally starts with sexual chemistry and illusions of safety, an intoxicating stage that some people replay through multiple partners. At the next stage a more committed couple seeks to build a life together by assuming roles such as mother, father or provider, supporter. If they are able grow into the third stage, it will be into some form of relational partnership based on a flexible roles and mutual respect. Tom calls the fourth stage first love which is new territory for most couples. First love corresponds with integral development and is created by an active appreciation of ones partner as well as the intentional development of a we