The Queens Diamond Jubilee: Abridged

We love you Lizzy, we really do, but four days in your company is too much for any human of my generation s attention span to handle. So I took great pleasure condensing four days into something under 1 minute 40 seconds whilst screaming over the top of it drunk. STAY FAB, MADGE. Thanks to Jon (enemyradar) for filming, and Sam James for letting me use their bath tub and eat their meat (honk). Thanks to Eleri (and everyone else who kept bugging me, you buggers) for the suggestion. abr