I hate myself I m sure you know

I dont want to be me anymore. I hate my life. I struggle everyday to make it to the next just waiting for the time I can go skate again to clear my head. If it wasnt for this piece of wood, metal, and rubber I might be dead. Skateboarding has ruined my life but, saved only skate once or twice a week now and Im dying inside more than ever. I cant handle my job Im losing grip. My girlfriend hates me and she reminds me weekly. I love her, I dont even know why I feel like I ca